“My good opinion once lost is lost forever,” says Mr. Darcy, one of the central characters in Pride and Prejudice.
I’ve heard it said that this is a harsh view. I’ve heard people say Mr. Darcy is a character who can hold too much of a grudge, that he should just get over himself and let it go.
There’s such a big push in society today for us to make up with that one person, understand their view, try to find the good in them again.
Trying to find some sort of good in someone again isn’t always the right answer.
A few chapters into Pride and Prejudice, we’re introduced to the person Mr. Darcy has lost any sort of good opinion of. And as the novel goes on further, we watch this person continually do awful things, despite Darcy’s initial kindness and help. Mr. Darcy tells no one else why he has such a bad opinion of this person–yet by the end of the novel, Darcy almost wishes he would’ve warned the others. By then, it’s too late.
I don’t always need to to try to regain a good opinion about someone after it’s gone.
I don’t think I should stay mad at something for forever or write someone off quickly. But sometimes the kind thing to do is not to try to regain my good opinion about someone when it is lost.
Sometimes I have to be kind to myself and just let it be lost.